Thursday, February 26, 2004
It occurred to me that thinking of who as a quantity is a measure of realization's effect on a life.
Before awakening, we are our who exclusively. When we decide to embark on a spiritual journey to find ourselves, we start out by adding to this who, sometimes greatly adding to it, with the materials we come across while being spiritual people.
As far as I can tell, much of spirituality seems to only add to who levels. Sure, it may turn you into a bliss bunny, and that's certainly good consolation for some. But being a bliss bunny is only a different color of who. Many, many people get stuck right here. If they can feel bliss around their guru, they think they're getting "it". These folk spend their lives chasing experience, never really seeing the truth that lay just beyond, in plain view, the whole time they were looking for it.
There was just too much spiritual who in the way.
In order to reduce your who, you've got to turn your mind back on itself, and attempt to learn as much about your process as possible, and do so fearlessly. You've got to become an eater of who, processing the landscape of emotional complexes through your awareness of them. You've got to dive into your most fearsome nightmares. That is the only way to truly know yourself and get access to your deepest who.
And perhaps after a few decades or so, you'll suddenly see that you are not this who at all. You'll understand in a very clear and very real way, that you are 'this'.
But, that doesn't suddenly drain the who out of the mind. The who which was still there sticks around, and changes gradually in the awareness of 'this'. This is what I mean about levels of who indicating the effect that realization has had on a life.
So start eating your who, slowly at first. A therapist can be really helpful here, but you should probably make an effort to find a good one. I'd recommend one trained at a transpersonal psych college. That's no guarantee of quality, but at least they'll be able to get their heads around your spiritual trip.
Draining yourself of your who can be a tricky business, so an advisor of some sorts can be a real blessing. But those who are sincere in their who eating would seem to have a better shot at seeing through the who to the truth which lies directly underneath, the truth of our being only 'this'.