Monday, January 13, 2003
What have I gotten into? Or better yet, why am I writing this?
When one is trying to make a case for the non-reality of the person, it doesn't help to keep referring to oneself as "I". Yet anybody who speaks must admit to the existence of their voice. "My" voice has been formed out of a particular life's experiences. If I am to determine why I'm writing, I have to start with these experiences.
Rather than bore you with the details, let's just say that this life has been equipped with a personality that likes to please others. One way we know that others are pleased is to hear their praise. To be praised is to be singled out for special, positive attention, in short, to be admired. If I'm to be completely honest, I have to see the need to be admired as a primary motivator for my new undertaking, this weblog.
However, what I'm writing might not be deemed admirable at all by the reader. It's very likely that many of you will think I'm totally full of myself, and totally full of shit. That's ok. I'd think the same thing. So, if I can't expect to get any admiration out of it, why continue?
To be honest, I want to write a book. Not just so I can be admired, although there is certainly some of that still at work. I want to make clear the obscured and occluded truth about our true nature. There are many levels of obscuration at work here, but we'll stay with the psychological occlusions (behavioral patterns that limit us to thinking we are only the individual) and the many ways they are reflected in the culture at large.
So, I guess the reason I'm writing is because I believe I have something to say. Finding out about the one who believes this will have to wait for another day.